4 Ways to Improve Communication as a Couple

How many times have you ever heard the words, "Communication is crucial in a relationship?"

Now, how often have you heard that and said to yourself, "I know that, but I don't know what that entails, exactly?"

You aren't alone.

From the time we are teenagers and begin dating, we hear about the importance of communication. It's important not only for our relationships but for platonic relationships and at work as well. For relationships, being able to communicate with one another can be the key difference between bliss and conflict. The ultimate thing that can either spell everlasting love or doom.

Knowing how to communicate as a couple, however, can actually feel like rocket science. If you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, here are four ways to improve communication as a couple.

1. Listen, Don't Just Speak

When we are frustrated or upset, it's pretty normal to only care about what we have to say. About our point of view. Our feelings. This is one of the biggest "wrongs," you can commit when trying to work on your communication as a couple. What you have to say is important, of course. And it's important for your partner to understand your side of things. But let's think about things from their perspective.

Take a step back and listen. Hear what they have to say about the matter, too. Not only will you make them feel more heard and seen, but they'll also likely put in the effort to do the same.

2. Think Before You Speak

While you are practicing your listening skills, now is a good time to think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, it's really easy to just blurt out whatever you are thinking. But think about a few things before you say it. Is what you are about to say true to how you are feeling? Are the words going to hurt your partner unnecessarily?

By thinking before you speak, you are going to lessen the chance of the argument reaching a boiling point. It will also likely prevent new arguments from starting, keeping you in an endless cycle you really don't want to be a part of.

3. Honesty Does Not Equal Cruelty

There are tactful ways to say everything. A key component to successful communication is to always know the line between being honest and just being mean. At times, it may seem like a very fine line, but it is actually there.

When you are so angry you feel like your blood is about to boil, it's second nature to want to make that person feel the way you do. As a couple, though, you can't just fling words around as if they don't mean anything. Because they actually do.

4. Don't Be Afraid to Drop the Conversation Momentarily

Sometimes, the best policy is to just drop it. Not forever, but for the time being. We want to try to resolve things as quickly as possible. To move on from the subject matter and just be done with it. That doesn't always serve us or our best interests.

The next time you are in a cycle of arguing or can't reach eye to eye about something, walk away. Agree that you both need time and space to think and for things to cool down. There's nothing wrong with this. Just be sure to not let too much time pass before you try to pick up the conversation again. Unresolved conflict or tension in a relationship, when ignored, is still there. Waiting for the next moment to be brought up again.

If you are having trouble communicating in your relationship, reach out to me for couples counseling. I am here to support you both when you are ready.